Episode 54: Exchange
"I told you today that I tried to commit suicide. Remember?"
"I remember."
"That was the truth. I did it because I was tired of everything. Because I've made a terrible mess of things. I didn't want to go on living."
He remained silent, holding her.
As she spoke again, her voice sharpened. "Can't you understand what I'm telling you? I'm no good! I'm just a bum! Other men have had me! Why shouldn't you? Why should you be cheated out of what other men have had?"
He remained silent. After a few moments, Nora said, "For God's sake, talk! Say something!"
"How do you feel about it now? Will you try again to kill yourself the next chance you get?"
"No�no, I don't think I'll ever try it again."
"Then things must look better."
"I don't know anything about that. I just don't want to do it now."
She did not urge him this time and he was slow in speaking. "It's kind of funny. It really is. Don't get the idea I've got morals. I haven't. I've had my share of women. I was working on one the night they slipped me the mickey�the night before I woke up to this tomb of a city. But now�tonight�it's kind of different. I feel like I want to protect you. Is that strange?"
"No," she said quietly. "I guess not."
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Ivar Jorgenson